Ho. Ho. Ho... No, I'm not thinking of the wrong holliday.

Halloween is a rare chance to leave your normal, boring self behind. Piling on enough costume and make-up to make yourself unrecognizable to your own parents, you're free to act with social impunity. But as you're strutting around wearing little more than underwear and angel wings, or rocking the look of a celebrity before the ink on his or her death certificate is even dry, remember that dressing up and acting out might really betrays what halloween is all about. It will never be more than a gratutious day of partying.

I'm not one to believe halloween is another good, wholesome holliday. It seems to me, Halloween is just a reason to get tanked. That's all it really comes down to. Even as a kid, we'd run around door to door like cranked up salesmen, demanding candy, just to get our sugar high. All in all, halloween is debauchery and the mass consumption of candy, booze, and drugs all rolled up into a nice, clean, sexy nurse outfit.

[On an awesome side note: I think I have come up with the greatest costume idea ever. You get a door frame, fully equipped with a door-bell. Walk around and when people give you a ring, YOU GIVE THEM CANDY and tell them how awesome their costumes are.]